Do your colleagues make you stressed?

Recently I've been reflecting on the different experiences I have had over the years when meeting deadlines. I'm a highly organised person and it isn't hard to meet deadlines when it's just me working on a project. But this isn't the case when working as part of a team. The levels of stress I experience vary from project to project. I wanted to explore the reasons behind this, so as to avoid any unnecessary stress in the future.

I've reaslied that by the nature of my work with various clients and business partners, I work in a number of teams. I'm dependant on my team mates to meet deadlines. My relationship with each member of the team is important in ensuring that we achieve our goal.

In my mind, I compared two recent events with two different teams: in both instances we had to meet a tough deadline:

Team 1: At the 11th hour, when things were really going wrong, and costs were spiralling, there was an underlying feeling of mistrust and blame. I felt that I had to take a defensive stand to demonstrate that the mistakes that we were uncovering were not the result of my (in)actions. I felt paralysed by the negative emotions and the level of stress I was experiencing as I tried to work collaboratively with my colleagues to find a way through the barriers in order to complete the project in time.

Team 2: The attention to detail that characterised the key players in this team meant that at the 11th hour, a technical problem was highlighted. However, because the team players mutually supported each other and had a high level of trust, we were able to calmly work through the options, make the relevant adjustments and still delivered the project within the required timeframe. And without any stress, just heightened sense of motivation.

The bottom line is that my own personal stress levels correspond to the professionalism and maturity of those that I'm working with. In a team where there's high functionality, my stress levels are low and I'm driven to complete the task. Where's there's poor team working, I find myself getting extremely stressed to the point where I am unable to function (not nice).

I'm sure that I'm not the only person who works in teams and has experienced something similar. However, despite coming to these conclusions, I don't the answer to the following question:


"As an HR Consultant who works on a range of portfolio contracts, I work with teams for only a few months at a time. Therefore, I rarely work with the same people for very long. What do I need to do to ensure that when it comes to the 11th hour I'm working in a highly functioning team?"

All answers on a postcard gratefully received.

The Power of the Purple Orchid

Upon returning from holiday recently, I started to prepare for a one hour slot at Mums The Boss' International Women's Day Conference: I had been asked to speak on behalf of Minerva's Mind about "Boosting Your Inner Confidence".

Although Kate & I have delivered workshops on this topic before, I felt that I should try a different approach with this particular audience. As the week progressed, I allowed my creativity to take over; by Sunday night I was trying to work out how many different techniques I could meaningfully explore in my allotted time.

The session went well. It's a vibrant, positive group and the room filled with energy as they immersed themselves in the interactive elements of my session. (In part, I believe this is because Helen and Sam, who are Mums the Boss (MTB) have fostered a lovely, supportive environment that is now integral to the MTBoss Brand.) I left the event, feeling full of energy and alive with ideas.

As a thank you gift, the MTB team gave me a beautiful purple orchid. I've always wanted an orchid and it now sits proudly in my kitchen. Whenever I take a break during the day from my work, I go downstairs to make a cup of coffee. I see my beautiful purple orchid and it reminds me of the positive emotions that I felt on International Womens Day. This gives me the boost I require to go back to work, envigorated and often with a surge of creative inspiration.

What I'm experiencing with my Purple Orchid is what NLP practitioners would call "anchoring". I'm sorry if I upset anybody when I say this, but I'm not a fan of NLP, and don't really believe that "achoring" works. With NLP, individuals are asked to recall a past event or moment and use that as their "anchor". In the past, this technique has not worked for me. Partly as I forget what I've chosen as my "anchor" or the emotions that I recall for my "anchor" are not strong enough to have an impact. But not this time. For me, the "anchoring" occured at the point that I recieved the gift and I have consciously fostered the postive emotions attached to it. My purple orchid is powerful.

We're all different and "anchoring" may work for you, or it may not. From my perspective, my purple orchid brings so much positive engery into my life and I would like to thanks the MTB team again for giving me such a wonderful flower.