How can I fight commercialism?

Recently, my daughter turned four. On the eve of her birthday I was wrapping her presents. She had chosen the majority of them, but we had also bought a few extra that we thought she'd enjoy (and also of educational value!). As I wrapped them, I reflected on the fact that all the presents my daughter had chosen were from known brands - Ben 10, High School Musical, Toy Story etc. Whilst I approved of all the toys we had bought, I began to wonder: Has my soon-to-be four year old been exposed so much to commercialism that it's already demonstrating its influence over her choices at such a young age? Am I a bad mum for allowing this to happen?

I took a step back and began to think more about her choice of presents.

One of the biggest presents was her High School Musical Outfit (including the pom-poms). Those who are my friend on facebook know that I'm a fan of HSM - we regularly play the CD at home. The outfit idea had come from one of her friends at nursery,who had worn her HSM outfit (including the pom-poms) one day. Although my daughter said nothing at the time, she obviously coverted the red sparkly leotard. Dress up and role-play is an important part of her development. Currently, she will only wear her reindeer and fairy outfits - so I welcomed her request for another dressing-up outfit as this will broader her creative play.

As I looked at her toys, I began to notice that the common theme here that my daughter is influenced by her peers (that explains the Ben 10 watch). How can I fight commercialism where the marketing is so integral to society it infiltrates our nurseries?

And then I caught sight of the Beyonce CD. Where did this inspiration come from? I have a degree in Music and I love listening to all types of music. We regularly play CDs during mealtimes, and currently it ranges from Abba, to Ray Charles to Tchaikovsky's Ballet Suites. But Beyonce doesn't really have a place in our music collection.

Then I remembered: earlier this year, I took my daughter to a "proper" hairdressers for the first time. I was worried about how she would react, so I "bigged" it up, and she was very excited about being treated like a princess. As we waited for our appointment, Beyonce's "Single Ladies" played on the video. Admittedly it's a great video (it did win the MTV Music Video of the Year award) and my daughter sat captivated. Subsequently, she now recognises most of Beyonce's songs. She asked me to play Beyonce one mealtime, and I explained that I couldn't as we didn't own any of her songs. That's when she asked me to buy her the CD for her birthday. How could I refuse?

I could go on....but the bottom line is that she loves all the toys that she asked for and has played with them endlessly since her birthday.

So, in essence, I don't think I'm a bad mum. I'm now more aware that my daughter is influenced by everything and everyone around her, and I can't control that. My role is ensuring that she maintains a balanced approach to life and is aware of incredible influence that marketing / commercialism has on our lives. Wish me luck!

How to tell a story

Last year I watched both of the Truman Capote Films: Capote (2005), staring Philip Seymour Hoffman who won an Oscar for his performance and Infamous (2006). Both films covered the period of Truman Capote's life when he was researching the book "In Cold Blood".

What struck me most about these films is how Capote would use social gatherings, parties, or dinner parties to refine his stories through orally telling his friends about the subjects of his current book. Each time he told the story he noted the reaction of the audience and this influenced his sentence construction and phrasing to enable maximum impact to the reader.

I recalled this fine art of story-telling as I prepared this week for a workshop for staff who are currently undergoing an organisation restructure. All the staff are having to apply for new posts in their department and my workshop is to support them through this process so that they are able to effectively demonstrate their skills, experience and abilities.

One of the key elements whilst preparing for an interview or any type of selection process is to practice "out-loud" the responses to key questions. We often find that we've constructed an excellent reponse in our minds, but frequently this response does not sound as good when we hear it out loud for the first time.

I encourage participants to find some private space - either in the car, or in the shower for example, and to use this space to recite their stories out loud. The key is to repeat the stories over and over - ensuring that the story reaches a conclusive end. Refine the story as you practice it, and the more you do, the more embedded the story will become.

When faced with a couple interviewers, candidates often feel nervous and their minds "go-blank". With well rehearsed stories, answers spring to mind easily and the delivery is well prepared: it demonstrates the point, highlights the learning that occured and shows the interviews both the level of skills / experience as well as the ability to reflect and learn.

So, I think that Truman Capote sets us a good example. We may not be as literary competent as he is, but we can learn from his methodology about how to make the most of our own stories.