Making It Happen

My family & I recently went on a three week holiday to Australia, with stop-offs in Singapore and Hong Kong. It was an ideal time to go: my daughter will be going to school in September so it's the last big holiday we can make during term-time; my son is almost two and so his airfare was cheap.

During our entire holiday, we had the same conversation with fellow passengers, hotel staff or locals that went as follows:

"Going to visit relevatives? No? Oh.....you're really brave, doing such a big trip with two little ones".

I was baffled by the number of people that held this view, so much so, that I began to ponder on the significance of their comments.

Over the years, I have noticed that I have a tendancy to sometimes enter into things without fully thinking throught the challenges that I will face. For example, I went off to live in Colombia for a year, with a Colombian family, without being able to speak a word of Spanish.

With this trip, I didn't really think about how hard it would / could be travelling for three weeks, five cities and six flights with two toddlers.

Why do I do this? To be honest,I think that the fundamental reason is that my husband and I really wanted to make this trip. We had a sense of drive that meant that we were incredibly focussed on making the most out of these three weeks.

Even if somebody had pointed out.....
- that we would have no time to ourself for three weeks;
- that we would not be able to eat healthily and at regular intervals;
- that there are hundreds of posionous insects and that we'd constantly have to keep an eye on our children;
- that the constant travelling is tiring;
....I don't think that would have stopped us.

And in the end, we had a fabulous trip. We saw so many amazing sights and we had lots of fun with our children and saw their world expand as they encountered each new experience.

What I learnt from this, is that when I really want something, it doesn't matter what the obstacles or challenges are, I can make it happen. There's a passion for the experience, a drive to seize the day that makes this obstacles part of the journey, as opposed to the end of the road.

At 6am in Hong Kong airport, I noticed a well-dressed couple in their 60s giving us a look of anxiety. As I suspected, they were on the same flight as us, and were concerned about the level of disruption our children might bring to the flight (when in fact, they were both generally well behaved, even on 13 hour flights).

The usual conversation cropped up. But this time when they told us how brave we were, I replied, "If you really want to do something......".

They nodded with sage understanding.

Having "Grit" vs Being Tenacious

This week I've been spending some time thinking about "Grit". I'm not talking about the state of our roads and the snow that has challenged our daily lives over the last month, but our ability to see things through to completion.

I first started to think about "Grit" after reading this month's Thinking Woman's Coach Newsletter. It lead me on journey to help me understand how I'm feeling at the moment

For the last few weeks, it's been impossible to avoid all the inspirational and motivational blogs, articles, emails on setting objectives and goals for the New Year. (And yes, I did post a similar article myself on Minerva's Mind just before the New Year.) These articles are all very upbeat, bright and sparkly. This is exactly the opposite of how I feel.

For me, the New Year starts in March. For the next month I have a mountain of work to get through (all carried over from before Christmas) before I head off for three weeks in Australia. I return from my big trip at the start of March: this is when I'll be able to start thinking ahead about what I want to achieve for the year. The vast amount of work ahead over the next three weeks is overwhelming and I'm under a lot of pressure (mostly self-inflicted).

What is keeping me going - is it my "Grit"? When I took Martin Seligman's "Grit" survey (http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu), I discovered that I have only average levels of "Grit". At first I was disappointed, but then I considered the issue further:

I consider myself to be tenacious: tenacity can be another word for "Grit". I love the word and frequently use it in job specifications. Tenacity is a postive behvioural trait. But can too much tenacity become what others consider to be obstructive behaviour? Does a high score on the "Grit" survey represent a negative behavioural trait?

There are some things worth fighting for - seeing certain goals, dreams or projects to the bitter end. But for others, I make a judgement call as to whether it's worth the time and energy. If I do persevere, will the end product justify the means? I think half the time it probably doesn't, which is why I abandon projects or choose a different route.

I also believe that extrinsic forces compel me to see things through to their completion. Being self-employed, it's not good for business if I leave a client half-way through a project. In these instances, I apply all the postive thinking / coaching techniques that we post on our Minerva's Mind pages to help me.

In essence, one the core elements of Minerva's Mind is providing our "fans" the tools to use when they need to deploy a bit of "Grit". Or alternatively, Minerva's Mind is about enabling our "fans" to develop their ability to be tenacious which in turn will allow them to seek fulfilment in their everday lives.

So on reflection, it's my tenancity that is keeping me going through the month of January. And for the record, I've decided that I'm pleased with my average "Grit" score.