The Importance of Belonging

This is the first year since I first started work that I've not been employed by an organisation around christmas time.

I realised in early november that I wouldn't get an christmas party invite this year. In an attempt to overcome this I approached the Directors of a consultancy company that I work for suggesting that we held a party for all the Associates. After deliberation, they informed me that they were extremely busy in the weeks leading up to christmas and so no, there would be no party this year. However, they did offer to take my husband and I out to dinner in the New Year to say thank you for all the hard work and support that I've offered them over the last year. Whilst I'm looking forward to this evening, I still felt the absence of a works christmas party.


As a student at the University of East London, one of my student colleauges arranged a christmas dinner after class one Saturday. I eagerly accepted, and 8 of us had a very enjoyable evening. I felt part of a team, an equal with a group of people with whom I have shared interests. It wasn't quite the same as a works christmas party, as we all departed for home at 7pm!


I've found myself giving gifts to teams that I'm currently working with. For example, I am a Parent Govenor of a pre-school and nursery. I thought that the top team proably won't get many gifts, so I've bought them some festive chocolates. My generousity has partially alleviated the gap in my life that would normally be filled by knowing I have a works christmas party to attend. I spent some time this last week trying to understand why I was feeling this dissonance. Why does this really matter to me?

I think it's becuase everybody has the need to belong, to feel that they part of a bigger whole. At christmas this is publically displayed through the works christmas party. Whilst as an individual we may choose not to attend, or we attend, but leave early - we still want to be invited. We still need that public acknowledgement that we are part of a particular team.

I've become conscious of the fact that my actions are being driven by the need to belong to a team at this time of year. I am a team of one. My relationships with organisations and others is significantly different this year. And what do I consider is the impact of this? This has meant that I've been more generous than in previous years. Perhaps this year has brought out a better side of me?

Christmas is a time for giving and showing those that are close to us that we care. I hope that you all had an enjoyable christmas party, and that you have a full and meaningful christmas.