Is the 21st Century Middle-class Mum helping or hindering the next generation?

This week I was engaged in an interesting conversation with three successful 50-something women. Each woman is a mother to accomplished grown-up children, and they all have friends who have equally accomplished children. Their children are currently on a journey to become qualified as doctors or lawyers having achieved academic, music and / or sporting success whilst at school.

I listened to stories of children who had belonged to the National Youth Theatre, or played three instruments and had achieved Grade 8 by the time they were in their early teens. Each mother had ensured that their children were given the opportunity to excel through extra-curricular activities. As successful women themselves, they could be considered as role models to their children – a fact that should be celebrated.

During our conversation, I reflected about a friend whose 8 year old boy now was engaged in four after-school activities. Each one developed some kind of social or sporting skill (eg Scouts, swimming) and she wholly supported her son’s involvement in these activities. But she had recently realised that she had become one of those mums who was constantly ferrying her son about. He was hardly at home to just “play” with his sister or his friends. And she was acutely aware that her younger daughter will soon want (and expect) the same. She pondered with me about how this had happened?

Whilst we want the best for our children, are we in fact pressuring them to achieve too much at such a young age? The women I spent time with this week were concerned that their children might have their mid-life crisis in their mid-20s. As young adults who had experienced such levels of achievement already in their lives, there is a possibility that as they enter the world of work they might experience disappointment or dissatisfaction with life. Or will these 20-somethings have a sense of confidence, drive and a core belief that they know that they can achieve that will enable them to become leaders of society that will make us all proud?

I think that only hindsight will give us this answer. For now, I will continue to give my children the best opportunities with a measure of balance.