Teaching our children how to behave

As I drove home from work today, I was listening to the radio. Today, the news leads with the story about two brothers who tortured two young boys in Edlington in South Yorkshire. Details have emerged of the brother's upbringing, that they suffered domestic abuse from a violent father and other contributory factors that led them to believe that they could behave in such an awful way to another person.

I feel strongly about the importance of teaching my children the difference between right and wrong, and the key principle that it is important to behave nicely towards others. This evening, as my daughter was having her bath, I seized the opportunity to discuss this important life lesson with her.

I asked her "What is the most important thing to remember when you're with another person?" The response, "To be nice to each other". Whilst this is incredibly simplistic, at the age of 4, I'm pleased that my daughter knew the right answer to my question.

I then went on to tell her that I had a difficult day: somebody at work had been "mean" to me. We discussed how this had made me sad, and angry.

My daughter asked, "What did you do?"

I replied, "I told someone very important". I didn't think that I could explain the concept of client-contractor relationship to my four year old.

She asked, "Did you tell a teacher?" I replied, "Yes".

My daughter then enquired, "Did you tell this person that they have been mean to you?"

I explained, "Not today, but I will. I'm trying to find the right words". In otherwords, I was trying to find a way to express myself appropriately, professionally.

And as my daughter hugged me, she said "It's important that you tell them that they have been mean to you."

This was a watershed moment: For the first time, I have shared a work-issue with my daughter. She responded by showing understanding for the issue and giving me support (as much as can be expected from a four year old). The conversation echoed many of those that we have had before but when the issue was about other kids that have mean to her.

So, I feel not only comforted by our conversation on a personal level, but reassured that my daughter is developing a strong moral compass. I will continue to keep teaching how to behave, and I hope that we, as a society, find a way to ensure that all children are brought up learning this lesson.